get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
