there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
