Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
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My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
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the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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