pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I've blown a few things in my day
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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