ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The chlamydia really affected his face.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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