I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
