and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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