on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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