Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
