dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
