just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
