can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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