i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We need to get me chipped asap
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
