She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
