my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Bring me that man meat
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
