I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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