we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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