"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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