He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize