Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
