finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Come share oat with me in your robe
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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