I want to stick my p in your. b.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
