her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
