I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
