will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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