need another drink. this is the easiest way
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Redeem this text for a blowjob
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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