so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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