I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
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