Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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