Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'm having to shit out rocks
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
