woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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