Christians are straight up FREAKS
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Randomize
