She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
