i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
