At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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