maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
