When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
