I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
