i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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