I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
