i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Randomize
