I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
well most of my day revolves around power hour
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
