Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
