i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
