So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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