Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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