I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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