somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize