before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
