I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
