38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
