You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
