oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
