you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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