I'll bet she douches with gravy.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
the day after is always just damage control
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
