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• (352): View more from Florida

  He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  They want yo temporarily sterile ass.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Spopky scrzy skeletonssz

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  As a home can we vote to stab Peter?

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• (845): View more from New York

  I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?

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