he puts the penis in happiness.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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