Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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