mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
