how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Randomize
