she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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