i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
