Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
