did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
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Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
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And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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