after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
