fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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