Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Enjoy the penises
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
