we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
