I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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